can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
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I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
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My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
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