The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I have vodka in my lungs
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
dude. I can hear the air.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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