he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Randomize
