don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Randomize
