kristin has been a bad kristin
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Randomize
