matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
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