I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
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