This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
