Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
