dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
