Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Randomize
