Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
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