Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize