They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
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The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
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Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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