when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
