i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
