drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
