Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
