hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
being pregnant is like rehab
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
