i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
PS: I just woke up from my shower
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
