Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
