Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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