im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
