Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Randomize