ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
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