too bad you live with your parents still
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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