this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
