I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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