Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Randomize
