i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Who died my cat blue again?
Randomize
