since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I'm at about main and main street
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
