You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
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