Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
