if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
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