How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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