He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Randomize
