I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Randomize
