Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
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