He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Randomize
