So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
