He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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