How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize