I am puke
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Randomize
