I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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