Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
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