I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
and you fell through a lawn chair
The Olympian is in my bed
Randomize
