dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
