Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
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Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
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