I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
