Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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