In the future we'll all be gay
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I think people are normalizing furries
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Randomize
