One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
well you can't waste a boner
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize
