Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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