also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
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