i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Randomize
