she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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