yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
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