He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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